Although couples who go through a divorce are no longer together, those with children still have a responsibility to work as a team and co-parent. Because divorce changes children’s lives, parents should be sure to maintain stable and healthy relationships with their children. Yes, it may be difficult for some individuals to communicate with their ex after a divorce, but it is vital that parents practice co-parenting skills such as effective communication.
How to Communicate with Your Ex During and After a Divorce
As soon as a couple separates, every family member will have to adjust, which can be difficult for children. However, parents can make the transition easier by creating a stable environment for their children. If parents allow the conflict or issue that caused the divorce to interfere with how they raise their children, then successful co-parenting will be nearly impossible. When the issue that caused the divorce gets in the way of co-parenting, then conflict management strategies can help remedy the situation.
Parents who show resentment or fight in the presence of their children put their children in a negative environment. Although there may be negative feelings between an ex that is warranted, it is important to remember that children are innocent and should not be involved in any conflict.
Parents should also be consistent with new schedules, which will let children get used to a routine. If any changes arise, parents should be open to communicate with each other via text messages or phone calls. According to family therapist Dr. Jeffrey P. Wittman, parents need to find a way to communicate with each other as they were in a business relationship. Dr. Wittman explained this can be an effective way for parents to focus on their children’s needs and put any negative feelings about their ex aside.
Co-Parenting After a Divorce
When couples with children divorce, they still share a common bond, which is their children. Divorced parents will have to see each other at birthdays, weddings, and other life events. Positive and effective communication between divorced parents an essential factor in raising happy children.
Do’s and Don’ts: Communicating with Children After a Divorce
Here is a list of some “Do’s and Don’ts” parents should keep in mind when communicating with their children after a divorce:
Do: Listen and be mindful of any issues your children may express.
Do: Encourage your child to have a positive and strong relationship with their other parent.
Do: Be sure your children are aware of any changes in schedules.
Do: Let your children know they can always talk to you about their feelings.
Do: Let your children know how much you love them.
Don’t: Manipulate your children.
Don’t: Speak badly about your ex in the presence of your children.
Don’t: Let any issues with your ex interfere with the best interest of your children.
Do’s and Don’ts: Communicating with Your Ex
Be sure to consider these communication “Do’s and Don’ts” when co-parenting with your ex after your divorce.
Do: Establish clear and consistent routines and rules.
Do: Keep your ex informed of any parenting-related issues.
Do: Express any concerns with your ex, but do so in a polite but stern manner.
Do: Be reasonable with your ex.
Don’t: Allow any conflict with your ex interfere with your responsibilities as a parent.
Don’t: Expect your ex to agree with every plan you suggest.
Don’t: Jump to conclusions.
Don’t: Start conversations with negative phrases such as “You never…”
Although divorce can be unpleasant for children, parents can help alleviate tension that accompanies divorce. For more information about divorce and co-parenting, please visit http://ronaldsaperpc.com.